Midwives, friends, and even our husbands assume that all our insecurities and inexperience we have the first time around have disappeared.
But they haven't. At least not for me. I'm scared.... Shit scared!
I'm scared of having a full term baby. Obviously I don't want a preemie baby again, but a full term newborn is foreign to me
I'm scared to bring home a newborn. Hank didn't come home from hospital until he was 6+ weeks old, and whilst that was still before his due date, he has 6 weeks to sort his feeding & sleeping schedule out
I'm scared of post natal depression (PND). The first week of Hank's life was one of the most horrible of mine. I am so thankful that I didn't suffer from PND for long... But I don't ever want to feel like that again
I'm scared that having a full term baby does not necessarily mean he will be healthy. Maybe it's because I've learnt so much from being apart of the premature/sick baby community that I know too well that even full term babies can have health issues beyond our control
I'm scared that having this baby will change Hank. I mean, I know it will change him... But I don't want him to be any less awesome than he is right now
I'm scared that I will become complacent. SIDS, hygiene, choking hazards, safe milk storage... All things that I've finally been able to relax about
I could honestly list 50 more things I am scared of. I don't remember being this scared the first time around.
What where you most scared of as an expectant mum?